The Kind of Day I’m Having

The Time of My Life

 This image from Cindi Oriente’s blog at www.worldhealing.net  is the kind of day I’m having. I think I’ll relax and enjoy it and invite you to spend some time with this image and then explore her website.  This image came from her blog, filed under Health & Healing, The Time of My Life.

Spirit does speak to me…I love synchronicity…I do believe!…I relax and know I Am blessed…I am in love with love….I do trust….I feel the magic….I will accept my guidance. 

If you are an American Idol fan, you can read what David Cook’s singing of The Time of My Life did for her in the healing of her cervical cancer.

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At Least One Nun

Selma Heschel March, 1965 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:SelmaHeschelMarch.jpg

“On March 21, [1965]close to 8,000 people assembled at Brown Chapel to commence the trek to Montgomery.^[12] Most of the participants were black, but some were white and some were Asian and Latino. Spiritual leaders of multiple races religions and faith marched abreast with Dr. King, including Fred Shuttlesworth, Rabbis Abraham Joshua Heschel and Maurice Davis, and at least one Nun, all of whom were depicted in a famous photo.”

 “At Least One Nun”…..should be the title of a book written about this woman!

I mean, it was 1965….not a time of liberated thinking for women, in general, and here is this nun on the front line of the larger-than-life- civil rights movement with Martin Luther King…..the third of the Selma to Montgomery Freedom Marches….the first two of which had included injury and death.

And there she is! Not in front of a third grade class room, nor even at the bedside of a hospitalized patient which were the most likely places for nuns at that time to be. But on the front lines for social justice and equality….in 1965! It is amazing to me.

 I’ve been looking up some of that history in the South since I saw and appreciated the movie, “The Help”, this afternoon.  While the movie was pretty harsh on its portrayal of the Southern woman stereotype at that time, it made me think of where and how I was at that time.

 Well, I was a Northerner, I was newly married, just out of college, with a classroom of young ones to teach, myself. Of course in my mind,  I wasn’t “prejudiced” but I was not aware of the far-reaching cultural effects  on any of us regarding racism, above or below the surface.

But I was most assuredly “removed” from the reality of what had to happen and would happen on the world scene to move toward equality and human rights that is everyone’s birthright, whether born in a democracy or totalitarian state.

Can our adult children now even imagine living life in their twenties in our own country, as we did then, that was so diametrically opposed to equality….to hear even the rhetoric that defended the position of inequality? I don’t think so. But I lived in that kind of world. A world that had to turn….and not in soap opera style.

When I graduated high school, I had considered a religious vocation and becoming a nun. By 1965, I would have taken final vows. 

 I would not have been that nun on the front line then. I would love to know who she is now.

IMAGE SOURCE Guideline: “Use of historic images from press agencies must only be used in a transformative nature, when the image itself is the subject of commentary rather than the event it depicts.”  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:Non-free_historic_image

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Gentle Warrior

Exalted Warrior

I found Abby Lenz on the internet today at http://www.heavyweightyoga.com/2011/03/39-years-of-yoga/ . In talking about her beginning youth experience with yoga over thirty-nine years ago, immediately falling in love with it, and being able to do any pose imaginable, she says she is now….”older, heavier and much wiser.”  She says and teaches what she knows being on the mat is all about in her Austin, Texas classes.

She says it is never about the poses, it is rather about where they lead you. She  does not measures success by how triuphant you look and feel on the mat. Success, she says, is really about just showing up and doing your best for that day.

I, too, am older, heavier and somewhat wiser at the age of sixty-eight. Today, I did not show up on the mat at class. I wasn’t feeling triumphant about anything in particular and I put myself on yoga class vacation for this Friday.

I will start again on Monday, or most likely with some pauses for home poses, balance and breathing over the weekend to remind myself that my true self doesn’t really want or need a vacation from yoga.

I love that I have discovered some of the richness of yoga in my own life. I am in touch with the true energy within my body, how it can be stirred, awakened, unclogged, and make me feel as though I am “streaming” with my own body instead of pulling and pushing it around.

I love how I hear Petra’s voice in my daily life and how the flow of yoga, even off the mat, finds meaning in my day. When I began yoga, late in life (unless I live unusually long), I was concerned mostly about my physical “bigness” and remembered the Beatles’ early 1960s introduction of yoga and swami’s into Western culture. I surely thought it was a no-no for me, a cradle Catholic and Republican, trying to go Democrat.

When I started, I was uncomfortable standing in mountain pose for any length of time and thought surely this would be a short experience. I came to “land yoga” through my water class of fused Poolates-Yoga. I loved feeling the poses, supported by the water, and the instructor encouraged me to try the gentle yoga class at the health center. I am glad she did.

Over time, and with the effort to do the best I could (like the 4th Agreement of Ruiz I have been writing about), I came to feel a genuine part of the class, if a stumbling one at times. Sometimes my motivation to get through the poses and balance and stretches was that I knew Shivasana, the peaceful quiet, awaited me at the end of class. I could hold on.

I remember about breath being the most important thing. Even though I knew that to be true, I suspect that it is being on the yoga mat that brings it home to me when I need it in my daily experience.

Once I had to leave the class for a bathroom break. When I returned through the door in the front of the class, they were all in a Warrior II, opened toward me and gazing forward. I started to return to my place, but was actually stopped by the palatable positive energy flowing  toward me from the group. It was an amazing and respectful feeling and I stood for awhile to soak it in and enjoy it before threading my way back to my mat.

My own self-described Energy Identity I’ve had for some time now is: Sue, Truth Seeker, Peace Maker, Love Giver. My Life Statement is: “Her ways are ways of gentleness and all her paths are peace.”

I am gentle warrior, learning to forge my path and respect the paths of others. I do not know if there is a gentle warrior yoga pose.

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Angels in a Doorway

Angels Doorway – Flickr PhotoShare

 

My poem was reposted by Christine on her dadirridreaming blog site.

The poem was written in 2011.   Later in the winter months of 2013 when Tom was recovering from a trio of major skin cancer surgeries, he got up in the middle of the night because he heard “male voices” down the hallway.  He opened  the door of the bedroom, looked down the hallway into the open space between the kitchen and living room and saw two light beings standing and discussing something.  He went into the bathroom off our bedroom and when he returned, it was quiet and they were gone.   The next morning, Tom said to me, “I have something to tell you,” and proceded to tell me about this.

The presence of the light beings in our home did not surprise Christine.

I wrote an account of this on a blog titled, “I Have Something to Tell You.”  If I can figure out how to get it back up here, I will repost it too.

 

A Message from the Angels

By Susan H. Hajec

Dedicated to Margo & Janet

In an open doorway, there is a space.
It is the space between
where you are
and where
you are going.

Pay attention to what comes to you
when you open this door
with the space between
you
and your future.

We are in that space
as your guides
and as your direction.
We are your angels.

So there is no need to fear
when you make your choices
from the love and light
that are in this doorway.

We are willing to pull you
or push you through the appearance
of obstacles or a harsh wind.

In this doorway you can create
a new now
filled with what is attracting you.
It takes only your decision.

There is no need
to hurry, dear one,
no need to rush.

Just be in the quiet
in the space
in the open door

between you
and your future.
We are here!
And in a millisecond
of the time it takes you to decide,
we will make it happen!

Again, do not be afraid.
It feels like you are lost
but you are not.
You are just in the space

in the open door
immersed in possibility and potential.

When what you have enjoyed
has come to an end,
it is your turn

to choose once again
what comes next
in the open door
where you can create
and just be.

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Just One More Agreement!

There is just one more agreement, but it is the one that makes the other three become ingrained habits in our lives. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best.

Some children are lucky to hear this as they grow up. That is their parent’s standard and expectation. It is great to bring home straight A’s or Championship medals, or 1st in show. Yet it is a greater incentive to actually try to do our best when we know we will be complimented on doing it, not frowned upon for being judged less than another in achievement.

Don Miguel Ruiz tells us to do our best under any circumstances, no more and no less. He also advises us to remember our best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time. Sometimes our best will be high quality; other times, not so much.

Your best will be different when you are healthy as opposed to when you are sick. In your everyday moods, your best can change from one hour to the next, from one day to the next.

Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best. I remind myself often of this when there is a struggle involved in doing my best; like when I am tired, especially when I am tired. Or when anger raises its ugly head, it requires an internal dialogue with myself that the goal right here and now is to do my best, no more or no less. Talking to myself, at this time, seems to help.

Doing your best helps you learn to accept yourself. You can quiet down the inner judge and critic a bit if you, yourself, hold yourself to the standard of doing your best. This helps you also be aware of your mistakes and learn from them. Learning from your mistakes is not as difficult when you are not ashamed of them.

If you are always trying to do your best, your mistakes are not usually the gigantuan ones that bring shame upon you. They are simply mistakes, errors of judgment, unthoughtful words or actions. You can correct these mistakes many times with a ready apology and get on with living.

You do the best you can all the time because doing your best makes you happy! When you are doing your best just for the pleasure of  doing it, you are taking action because you enjoy taking the action.

That’s what Forrest Gump did. He didn’t have any great ideas., but he took action (and he was impeccable with is word which is the first agreeement).  He was happy because he always did his best at whatever he did. He was richly rewarded without expecting any reward at all. Expressing what you are is taking action.

“God is life. God is life in action. The best way to say ‘I love you , God’ is to live your life doing your best. The best way to say ‘Thank  you, God,’ is by letting go of the past and living in the present moment,” right here and right now. Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.”  (pp. 83-84) The Four Agreements, A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz, Amber-Allen Publishing.

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Make No Assumptions!

This is a goddess sculpture made by my friend Ameyo Ameyot several years ago. This morning “I assumed” I would be able to click it into place and write my blog quickly before afternoon errands.  Not!  Somehow on my beginning draft, my images would not download.  I do not know why that was, but I will continue this evening now that I have an image there.

Picture this. I wish I had a camera this afternoon at Tom’s doctor appointment. On the way out of the office building, Tom – with a cane – was holding the door for a more elderly woman who was gingerly moving her specialized walker along into the entryway, followed by a man wheeling his wheelchair, with a body strap held by the woman behind him. These people were followed by a handsome Fed-Ex guy, in summer shorts of course, who lined up behind them and was unable to “sprint” into the doctor’s office.

When he came back out and we were getting into our car, I told him that he was in the line of people who had “used up” their Express days. He laughed.

Which brings me to the Third Agreement of Don Miguel Ruiz: Don’t make assumptions.”  I was thinking about, how when we are young and crazy, we make all kinds of assumptions about our agile, strong and willing bodiesto move us along, it seems, at the speed of a bullet. We do assume it is there for us. It is quite likely we assume that now is forever. We don’t give it a thought what added several decades  of  “wear and tear” on the body will do. We assume the aches and pains and general slowing down wait over the horizen for others when they reach a ripe, older age. In fact, we assume actually that we are not old, maybe just old-er.

I catch myself in conversation all the time saying, “We were with this older couple the other day”…. and then I realize they were either a little younger or just a little older than myself.

I can remember assuming more when I was younger, than I do now. I assumed that I could exert myself for longer than my body really wanted to go without paying many unpleasant results. Not so today. Years ago, I could skip a few days of exercise without feeling like the next day I was starting all over again. Now I keep a steady pace in my exercise routines to stay energized. And today, I don’t assume my body gets its proper building blocks without a rather regular diet of wholesome nutrients on a regular basis.

Life’s later wisdom seems to grant a general acceptance of not making assumptions because, frankly — I’ve been wrong too many times when I did. In making assumptions about a situation, a person, or a problem, I’ve been right sometimes, I’ve been wrong others; I’ve been betrayed and I’ve been rewarded.

Ruiz says that all the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally (The Second Agreement, not to take things personally). The whole world of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally.

It then comes down to being right or wrong. That becomes what is most important to us. We are afraid to ask for clarification, so we make assumptions and we believe we are right about our assumptions. I’ve done that.

Then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. That’s me again. It is always better, Ruiz says, to ask a question than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering.

Assumptions are often made so fast and unconsciously because we have agreed to not ask questions. The biggest assumption that human beings make is that everyone sees life the way we, ourselves, do. Even though our mind knows this cannot possibly be true, we struggle to make it so. We assume others think the way we think and  feel the way we feel.

He goes to the heart of the matter when he says that is the exact reason we have a fear of being ourselves around others…because we think everyone else will judge us with the same tough standards we use to judge ourselves, so even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves.

The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Work to make your communication very clear with another, without having to change yourself for the other, or worse yet attempting to change the other, as in “winning them over”.

Find your voice to ask for what you want. Listen inwardly to your own voice. When you hear an answer, it will sound like truth to you.

He admits that just saying this sounds easy, but that it is difficult to do. It takes practice. It takes recognizing our habits, which ones serve us, which ones don’t. So I am willing to practice this like all the other practices I have going on in my life. It’s just one of the things I do.

Taking action over and over again on this principle forms a habit, strengthens my will  and establishes a solid foundation that tends to erase chaos in my life.  I know it to be only too true that many of my  assumptions create chaos, not solutions in my life.

Don Miguel says making this one agreement (to make no assumptions) will transform one’s life. What you need comes to you easily because Spirit moves through you freely.

“This is the mastery of intent, the mastery of the Spirit, the mastery of love, the mastery of gratitude, and the mastery of life — the path to personal freedom.”

You know what they say about getting a little taste of freedom!

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Taking Things Personally; maybe not

I was known as a “sensitive child”. The reason I know that is because whenever my feelings were hurt, I very frequently was told “You are just too sensitive.” And my feelings seemed to be hurt frequently. This seems odd to me because as a middle child, I tried to stay out of the limelight and balance family dynamics by being “the good girl.” My brothers were the risktakers.

Be that as it may, as I grew up, this sensitivity seemed to grow with me. It extended out to others and I lived somewhat cautiously, trying to gain control of the scenarios of my life by “fitting-in”, changing camolian style to fit the occasion, agreeing with or just trying to disappear on the sidelines.

That’s also strange because I was somewhat of an extrovert — actually a shy extrovert. I was always measuring myself in terms of others, and inspite of being a tall girl “for my age”, I always came up short on my own rulerstick.

All through life, this became a learning process for me as I came to stand on my own. I am reviewing Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements” now because they hold a lot of truth for me and repetition is the way I learn. So today, I am taking notes on his Second Agreement:

Don’t take anything personally. He tells us not to take anything that happens around us personally. This really isn’t about giving up responsibility about our actions, just an attitude of being in the world.

If you slip up and take an insult aimed your way personally, it is because you have some belief in the insult about yourself. As soon as you agree, you are trapped in conflict.  Nothing other people do is because of you; it is because of them.

When we take something personally, we make the assumption they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on them.  Others are going to have their own opinion of me according to their own belief systems, so nothing they think about me is really about me, it is about them.

So, herein, lies the challenge. Even compliments they give to me are about them. They may truly value some quality in me or something I did, but the value they hold is about themselves. So now, equal sides of the coin — maybe equilibrium — insults and praise may pass through me without grabbing hold of it — or becoming sensitive or even big-headed.

Don’t take anything personally because by taking something personally, you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. The key is in trusting yourself in your own self-knowledge and believe only what you know to be true for yourself.

There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you agree to take nothing personally. Perhaps it is the same freedom Jesus spoke of in the Bible, “…and the Truth shall set you free.”

As you make a habit of taking nothing personally and practice this faithfully, we don’t need to place our trust in what others do and say. We only need to trust ourselves to make responsible choices.  You can say “yes”, or you can say “no” — whatever you choose — without guilt or self-judgment. You can choose to follow your heart, being harmful to no one.

SOURCE:  “The Four Agreements” – A Toltec Wisdom Book, Don Miguel Ruiz, Amber-Allen Publishing Company

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I’m in Agreement

It is mid-August and the season of change is coming upon us. I am in between major writing projects, having completed one and mailed it off, and about to begin both a 9 week course study and concentration upon another project that has long sat in the “wings.”

Tom is on a hearty path to recovery from back surgery and together, we are both grateful for his freedom from pain for the first time in a long time. We are again creating visions of more activities where he can endure walking and actually enjoy it.

The school year is returning once again for my grandchildren and my daughter, the teacher.  The green leaves of August will give way to the colorful display of a Michigan autumn in September and October.  They follow their simple steps to change without effort, it seems.

I think about the changes I want to make in the last quarter of the year. Some are somewhat simple, others will require being clear about my intention and being passionate and faithful to my commitment to achieve them and pursue them by consistent action, rather than occasional spurts!

It seems “agreement” comes easily to nature when it comes to changes.  For me, a very powerful and telling bible phrase states: “For whenever two or more of you are gathered in my name and agree upon anything, it shall be established for you.” (paraphrased) The power of prayer, through a small group, a global chain, a telephone line, or even down to two, as the scripture says, has proven tremendously powerful in our lives. Wonderful manifestations of love and healing, beyond our own power alone, are a history line in our family life.

Lately, I’ve been reading and meditating and thinking about the ideas in “The Four Agreements”, by Don Miguel Ruiz — a Toltec Wisdom Book and A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. I am examining my willingness to agree with and practice the Four Agreements in my life. I think I am pretty willing and practice will make (nearly) perfect.

Today, I will just share the ideas behind the First Agreement:

Be Impeccable with Your Word. This one may be the most difficult one to honor, though it sounds so simple. It is very, very powerful. Your word is the power to create. Your word is the gift that comes directly from God.

In St. John’s Gospel , we read, “In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God.” Through your word comes your creative power and by your word you manifest what is your life. Regardless of what language you speak, your intention manifests through this word.

Your word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate. The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human. But like a sword of two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream or your word can destroy everything around you.

Being impeccable is not using your word against yourself. Being impeccable with your word means using your energy in the direction of truth and love. That is the correct use of your energy.

The power of the word can be completely misused. We can use it against ourselves, plan revenge with it, create havoc in our world with it. By misusing our word and not being impeccable with it, we can pull each other down and cause great states of confusion, fear and distrust.

When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace. Use the word to share your love. Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny agreements that made you suffer. Words that did not come from truth.

Thousands of years ago, the Toltecs were known throughout Southern Mexico  as “women and men” of knowledge. Anthropologists have spoken of them as a nation or a race, but , in fact, the Toltec were scientists and artists who formed a society to explore and preserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancients ones.

It is not a religion, yet it honors all the spiritual masters who have taught on earth. It is most accurately described as a way of life, with easy accessibility to happiness and love.

NEXT UP: The Second Agreement.  Don’t take anything personally.

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It’s Complicated!

Lookin’ for Love in all the Wrong Places?

“Food, glorious food” the hungry orphans sing out and celebrate in the musical, Little Orphan Annie. And that is actually what I want to talk about in this blog — food, not candy, but I couldn’t resist the picture! On the psychological level, that is what many psychologists and medical professionals will attempt to explore with an overweight person.

 

Well, that’s me, but I have found much love in this wondrous world and have gratitude for all that’s been given me. So that’s not an answer to a dilemma I’ve had with food over the major part of my adult life.

 

I am a healthy, getting healthier (by all medical tests) by the moment senior adult,  fairly schooled  and credentialed in the basics of good nutrition, have practiced them for a long period of my life, and added a lifestyle of active exercises to fit my “taste” — and yet, I still must monitor and carefully choose “my daily bread!”

 

While I do this, I still do not achieve a desired weight loss, nor have I ever come near that elusive “after” picture, many women display in their weight loss ads. Having to step on a scale is the number one reason I do not like to go to a doctor, any doctor — and by the way, what does your weight have to do with a doctor having to look at a trigger finger? Would it not be locked up if I were ten pounds lighter?

 

That’s usually what I start with. I’d like to just get ten simple pounds off and go from there. Yeah, right. I have a comfortable food plan, that keeps the calories in line for me and the sugars down for Tom, doesn’t exclude any nutrient group and fairly balances out the carbs, proteins, and fats. And I’ve zoomed my attention in on portion size, making sure I am eating what the package says one serving actually is.  (My first big mistake in days gone by, that I’m still susceptible to today). But I’m confident that  today’s plan is healthy by anyone’s standard.

 

But do the ten pounds leave? No, again and again. Maybe three-fourths of the way there. Then it stops! Current nutrition experts say — do NOT starve yourself. And they even say, if you are of “a certain weight” to even ADD more food to your plate. Now that is really tough to do when you don’t trust food to begin with because of previous trials and errors.

 

I can’t really fix much in my eating pattern these days because I gave up dieting.  Diets don’t work — permanently.  I, again from experience, know that has been true for me. They were something I went off. Now I just have a healthy plan with high hopes, it will treat me to some slow-as-a-turtle losses that add up. I’ve given this a lot of time. I have a very, very slow turtle.

 

So along side my food journal now, I am writing my knowledge of this food journey and quoting some of the experts, whom I’ve read over the years and have formulated  my “game on” approach to eating.

 

I’ll share a few of them.

 

As I said above — balanced in nutrients, moderate in amounts, eat often and small which amounts to a major breakfast, medium to light lunch, and a 1 SERVING SIZE dinner (no family dining at our place anymore!) along with 2 small snacks during the day, and a very small treat at night (highly recommended by an authority) so you don’t ever feel you have to “go off” something.

 

Outside the home, in uncontrolled eating environments, I attempt to get my plate to resemble home eating and if not possible I watch portions closely. I will readily and humbly admit, however, that a small piece of Laura’s lasagna, is almost not humanly possible.

 

Now here is some tidbits (pardon the pun) from my journal:

 

FACTS:

“A complex relationship exists between food, blood sugar, insulin and fat.”

 

“Use an eating guide that is really NOT a diet. It allows you to eat all the foods you like in the proper amounts and still control insulin resistance and lose weight.”

 

“If you  (I) eat more calories than your (my) body needs, you (I) will gain weight. It doesn’t matter where the calories come from; protein, carbs, or fats.”

 

“Typically, diets do not work, in the long run. Weight loss from dieting is usually followed by weight gain to your previous or even higher level.” (Over my lifetime, this has been true, so I need to listen to this.)

 

“Keep in mind that any food can be part of a healthy food plan, if used in moderation.”

 

“Brisk activity is the most effective activity for burning fat. It does not have to be continuous to burn fat. It adds up cumulatively” (kinda like fat does?) Work any kind of activity into your day as often as you can ie. biking, walking, for ten minutes at a time, several times a day.”

 

“When you have the time, add a thirty minute or hour gym session in something you like, spinning, Pilates, swimming; the key is to be sure you really like it, or you won’t want to stick with it.”  (true, true).

 

“Adapt a lifetime activity habit. It is the KEY to weight loss maintenance.”

 

“Learn to splurge successfully, safely, and OCCASIONALLY. It is an essential skill to master in order to achieve long-term weight loss maintenance.”

 

For me, having a Weight Loss Food PLAN means that “cheating” is impossible and no longer viable in my food vocabulary.”

 

Today, I want:

         To quit being afraid of food.

         To quit being angry at food.

         To quit being driven or overpowered by food.

         To quit envisioning a before & after photo.

 

Today, I simply want:

          To enjoy my food

          and have it feel good

          in my body.

 

Today, what I no longer want from food:

          Is to cover up my anxiety.

          Is to overcome my fear.

          Is to solve my problems.

          Is to love the unlovable parts of me.

 

Today, in a world where some of us have feasts and others suffer real and painful famines, I Am  deeply grateful for the nutritional abundance that is always available to me and I look to help others in whatever small way I can to put food on their tables.

        

 

 

 

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Musings on Creativity and Angel Light

I am looking back on some notes I had written early on the morning last month when Tom had his surgery. I had waited some time in a rather drab and dreary looking room allotted to those of us awaiting our loved one to complete their surgery. I knew it was going to be several hours for me, so I took a stroll down to the sunlit atrium, knowing I would draw some good energy and joy from the sun streaming in the long corridor sky window.

Water Street Cafe is a vendor of coffees, sweets and sandwiches in that same area so I ordered a hazelnut-flavored black small coffee as their rates are quite high. The original Water Street Cafe is squeezed in between two main downtown Kalamazoo one-way thoroughfares just aside the railroad tracks. It is famous for being a favored writer stop-in. I guess it must be famous, published writers who stop in if they can afford the brew on a regular basis.

But today I handed over the required amount and sat down at a near-by table big enough to spread out my notebook and keep my cell phone handy for upstairs notification. I got one. Surgery was started at 10:01 am after a 6:30 arrival this morning.

When I look straight out into the sun-lit hall, I see the decorative etched glass wall creation that announces the corporate values of the medical center. The word Creativity takes center stage right in front of me. There are other panels with values but I randomly, it seems, chose to sit where this was my focus.

Actually, I don’t really believe it was a random choice. It was a guided move, probably from the angel realm, because it immediately graced me and lifted my being above the reaches of anxiety for the time being.

I had come there to open a notebook and copy my own wildly written notes from a conference call I had been on the night before with Janet Conner, a writer about creativity and the spiritual life, and Margo Mastromarchi, ATP,who is an angel guide reader and experienced and educated person . She certified with Doreen Virtue, who is well published in knowledge and education on the angels and schooled through a PhD. degree in psychology. And I was listening to angel communications on that call.  The subject was about creativity, our life purpose, and how to trust our guidance.

So here I sat the next day with the word Creativity, boldly and beautifully reflected off the etched glass and sunbeams streaming into it to make it a lustrous presence. The smaller words on the panel are: gifts and Spirit.

Creativity — the word that is my work. I create and I create with love.  My creativity is my gift to the world. It is the gift I bring to next week’s angel reading. My creativity has always been a gift and always comes from Spirit.

Creativity and the act of creating always give me joy. Other’s creative works that come from love and Spirit make joy dance within me. Jan Phillips says we are born to create. I know I Am born to create and my creations come from love and from Spirit.

I am thinking about the Angel Reading on the telephone last night. I am thinking about the things that bring me joy, that is how the angels said, you can know you are about the right purpose. What brings me joy are: writing Napkinwriter, sharing healing Reiki, the sound of ocean waves, the breeze of the trees, living as a loving being, the smile on any of my grandchildren’s faces, the happiness my children express, feeling the love and the Presence of God, and being grateful for every day of my life.

To think I am actually hearing communication from an angel through an angel reader requires me feeling free and loose about creativity; for later on my rational mind goes all a dither to back up “star points” my intuitive muse within me dances around and says “Yes, yes, yes, can you hear me now?”

So I think of Scripture that tells me, “for I have given you angels to watch over you, to safeguard you on your way.” And that’s all they claim to be doing — guiding the ones who choose to listen.

The angels say we complicate things in our human existence. That the Will of God is not that hard to understand. It is our choice — not our indecision — to be in the Will of God with what we choose to create — as long as our intention is pure and harmless to others. Then rational “Ruby-mind” comes right up with, “You shall decide upon a thing and it shall be established for you,” and “say either yes or no, anything in between (indecision) is anathema or of the devil and shall be spit right out of my mouth!”

I shall not go into the depth of the call,  nor one more that followed that, but I will say I listened with all that was within me. The very top of the call started off with the angels saying that taking care of one-self is paramount and that at this time on earth the most important thing to know is that “You are One.”  Again, an ancient teaching, but the angels, who carry the roles of guidance and messenger, are saying this is the important message for us “to get” right now, and begin to work with it, come to understand it, and be it.

This is the light, that far surpasses the sunlight shining on the glass-etched word Creativity on the hospital atrium wall. It’s a light that is too bright to look at all at once. So I think we can practice it little by little, by finding the switch within ourselves and shining wherever we can, whenever we can. There is no large or small. All our light counts.

I think this is right because the angels caught up with me two more times during Tom’s hospital stay and it wasn’t on a telephone call! They were there. I know it.

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