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Posts Tagged ‘change’

affirmation-message

 

December 21, 2016

Da da dadadum doobie da dadum…..Catching Up is hard to do. Hearing the old melody and lyrics of the Breaking Up is Hard to Do run through my memory station.

I am trying to catch up a little bit for Napkinwriter. I never like to be away from her for too long.  And it is not that I’ve been uninspired or leading a dull life. It’s been quite the opposite.  I haven’t even written a Christmas letter at this late date of Solstice, December 21, 2016. But, I will look back now at what has been a rather Fast Forward year all year long. I did not even journal as much as usual.

 

After the Christmas concerts and festivities of 2015, we leaped right into the winter weather of January and February. There were ridiculous storms piled upon us, one after another. From the day before Thanksgiving, snow befell us continually. During this time, we were often enroute to Ann Arbor via the treacherous I-94 for Tom’s skin cancer treatment for ever more involved procedures to rid his body of this demanding disease. An exhausting and dangerous trip, made under forced bad weather conditions. We were brought through safely each time during which there were multiple pile-ups and one that was over 122 car and truck pileup.

I looked for my angel billboard messages — and the encouraged me; usually a brief look at a board with only one word on it, but it was the word I needed at the time …..brave………confident……you got this…….healed.  I wanted to write this down, but I also was not journaling as much as usual this year. I plan to turn over a new leaf in 2017.

 

It’s been kind of a year where I needed to do this:

 

big-girl-britches

 

but I have a precious loosely formed band of magnificent girlfriends who helped me feel more like we were doing this:

 

campfire-quest-companions

 

A very dear friend of mine, Marsha Pricco English died suddenly this summer and stunned myself and our Resurrection High School classmates as well.

Marsha - Duane & Scotty

Several others passed too, yet Marsha’s was the deepest sorrow.  A grieving husband, Duane, is having the worst year of his life as December grows to a stop.

The extent toward which Tom has had physical problems this year, and my own body creaking around with new discoveries of limitations and challenges has caused us to take stock and think of maybe changing directions a little in our own lives. Maybe we need to be out of our home, with its growing costs and responsibilities and consider another type of abode. Maybe, as one of our daughters looked into new professional opportunity for her, we might even expand our definition of possibilities for us. Whatever it is, love will lead the way.

 

labyrinth cardinals

 

Another pull on my heart was the sudden death of my brother, Dave, who after suffering a long period of time with progressive Early Onset of Alzheimers, collapsed departed Earth to a calling of Higher Being. I love Dave with all my heart and miss being able to be with him.

dave-sue

brother-and-sister

John and his wife, Joan remain in a nursing home in Diamondale and for various reasons our trips over to see them and join our Class of ’61 monthly luncheons have diminished.  I continue to pray for his needs.

Wonderful blessings as life keeps expressing itself fill my life, as well. I had a wondrous visit in Sarasota Florida, flown down by my friend Martha and we had the best of girl time together, visiting the white sands of the beach and watching the flow of the ocean waves. A balm of joy washed over me, as well as the stay I had in her beautiful home with pool and full suite to myself. How pampering. I definitely was “raised up” when I returned to Michigan.

 

beach-martha-and-sue

Friendship — long, long friendships — are rare and dear. Another dear friend from Kentucky days of the 60’s – 70s visited us in September,  Lucretia Thomas.  And Tom helped us take her hither and yon to show her a good time, as her own style of Southern hospitality is  something to behold.

lucretia-is-here

Family remains the most precious and centering vitality. Our daughters provide rich gifts in their chosen professions. Kathleen, in her music education to school children, and music and drama in the Marshall Community Theater, along with gigs  with the jazz band, “Misdirection” she founded and fills venues with.

kathleen-and-us

Dr. Laura Mitchell, after more than twenty years in her chosen field of Optometry, made a really big change and chose a new Optometric practice to join in her birth hometown of Lexington, Kentucky.  They have just arrived there and are settling into the return to the Bluegrass way of life. It holds so many new openings for them at a stage of life where she will be able to balance home and work much better and she is looking forward to that.

kentucky-blue

And oh, my the Grands!  Devon got married to the one and only love of her life, Tyler; and she is nearing the end of her undergraduate education in Music and Creative Writing at CMU, on full scholarship.

 

bride-and-groom-dance

Andrew is finishing up senior year at Marshall High School, making and leading music everywhere anytime, as percussion section leader and Marshall Singers president. He has his sights set on UK, University of Kentucky, and we will watch how that turns out.

andrew

And Amy, the darling of my heart. What fun we have together, just as I did with those others when they were toddlers and small children. Amy and I love to do art together. Amy LOVES Star Wars and has brought Tom and me up to speed on the whole saga.  She plays piano beautifully and proudly.  She’s just a tad on the dramatic side.

clownfish

img_7833

Tom and I are catching up on ourselves too…..and that  has come to mean preparing for a move of our own — to Lexington Kentucky also where we have found a beautiful apartment, near where Laura lives, filled with amenities which we intend to use to focus on improving the status of our health and giving us freedom from the many responsibilities of home ownership.  Wahoo!  A return to the surroundings of where our married life and mission started over 51 years ago.  We are blessed and happy and have a moving date of January 28, 2017.

sue-tom-hajec-r61-1

So this actually became sort of a Christmas letter; one that will never be sent.  It is too long, but I will keep it on file here in Napkinwriter. And Napkinwriter, somehow will be faithful to shorter posts about life on a regular basis as we enter into the new year.

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Change 6 overview

It’s a process! A little at a time. Some of the changes you can see. Some you cannot. Some of the inside changes are hidden away in my computer files, organizing and planning for upcoming projects.  Some inside changes are taking root in my heart and intention to complete long-awaited and dreamed of “children of my mind” before they become “orphans of my soul” as Anne Murray sang in one of her songs which did not make the pop charts.

Those on the outside are designed to create more light, space and inspiration in my room.  Also to rid myself of the papers and images that I can let go of to make room for the new. This is my plan. I already feel I am sitting in more light as I write this.

Change 4

Like the blank page I come to most days in my writing practice, I have cleared a surface for work and clear thinking. Also some “moodling” as Brenda Euland, author and teacher, calls it. That’s like daydreaming, which many of us have been discouraged from doing at an early age in the long-gone-by days.  Opening space for the little, unconnected to purpose thoughts that don’t seem to be on the highway to any “big idea.”

Change 2

Storing, but not putting out of sight my Reiki table, clearing the center space of the room and making it easy for set up when needed. Journals, that need harvesting reside on the bottom shelf, room for Soul Collage essentials on next shelf up, while many more materials are stored away in closet awaiting the next workshop or call to service.

My favorite “go-to” books on writing and spirituality and world evolution have designated positions within the bookcase shelves These are topped off by my $10 garage-sale buy world globe to keep my consciousness open to our world and current conditions. The two turn of the century 1999-2000 memorial white and gold plates refresh my consciousness that, indeed, my gift of life includes living through the time of the 1900’s into the years of 2000.  Fifteen of them so far which with a few more months of grace will include celebrating 50 years of marriage to my true soul-mate and life, service and love to my family of children, their spouses and our grandchildren. It’s been the best life I could ever have thought of.

Change 3

My prayer chair for reflection and my Reiki panels, and a long time framed picture, “He Shall Hear My Voice”, and surely He has over each of these past 72 years!

Change 5

My new altar for Spring, with my grandmother’s embroidered linen as altar cloth, the angels guarding me, St. Francis keeping me fresh to be a channel of peace daily in my life.   My Little Sue doll from Rosann, a treasured and loved gift from “the sister I never had”.

The mandala wall hanging is one I bought at one of the IWWG workshops I attended back in the 1990s, and this year it will serve as a permanent mandala design on which I will create my yearly Intentions Mandala.   My 2015 Intention Mandala is titled,  “I Am Living As Love”…..in my mind, my heart, my hands, my life, my world.

I have been creating these Intention Mandalas since working with Janet Conner. The focus of these mandalas in on the inner conditions we commit to live during the year.  What we hope to manifest gets listed on the circumference of the mandala…..these manifestations, large and small, have regularly showed up in my life since I’ve been making these and living by them and it is truly a huge act of faith and amazement.  I am so grateful to Janet, of Writing Down Your Soul that these mandalas are in my life, as well as my soul writing journals.

Change 7 Intention Mandala

Onward through my light-filtered room.

Change 8 to be dealt with

As I said, it’s a process. There is much left to be done…..a day or step at a time!

And then, there is this!

Change 9 - Behind closed doors

I am graced with Grandma Tanberg’s embroidery of the 1940s. She is the mother of my birth mother, who died within days of my birth. I had the great honor to know Grandma into my high school years.  She was my “huggy” grandma who giggled a lot and played with my brothers and cousin Diane whenever we were together.  She didn’t mind getting us in trouble either!

Change 10 - Grandma's embroidery

And when I approach the unwritten loose leaf page or the blank computer screen to be filled, I only have to remember these screensaver rules and I am off again.

writing rules

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Angels Doorway – Flickr PhotoShare

 

My poem was reposted by Christine on her dadirridreaming blog site.

The poem was written in 2011.   Later in the winter months of 2013 when Tom was recovering from a trio of major skin cancer surgeries, he got up in the middle of the night because he heard “male voices” down the hallway.  He opened  the door of the bedroom, looked down the hallway into the open space between the kitchen and living room and saw two light beings standing and discussing something.  He went into the bathroom off our bedroom and when he returned, it was quiet and they were gone.   The next morning, Tom said to me, “I have something to tell you,” and proceded to tell me about this.

The presence of the light beings in our home did not surprise Christine.

I wrote an account of this on a blog titled, “I Have Something to Tell You.”  If I can figure out how to get it back up here, I will repost it too.

 

A Message from the Angels

By Susan H. Hajec

Dedicated to Margo & Janet

In an open doorway, there is a space.
It is the space between
where you are
and where
you are going.

Pay attention to what comes to you
when you open this door
with the space between
you
and your future.

We are in that space
as your guides
and as your direction.
We are your angels.

So there is no need to fear
when you make your choices
from the love and light
that are in this doorway.

We are willing to pull you
or push you through the appearance
of obstacles or a harsh wind.

In this doorway you can create
a new now
filled with what is attracting you.
It takes only your decision.

There is no need
to hurry, dear one,
no need to rush.

Just be in the quiet
in the space
in the open door

between you
and your future.
We are here!
And in a millisecond
of the time it takes you to decide,
we will make it happen!

Again, do not be afraid.
It feels like you are lost
but you are not.
You are just in the space

in the open door
immersed in possibility and potential.

When what you have enjoyed
has come to an end,
it is your turn

to choose once again
what comes next
in the open door
where you can create
and just be.

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