Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘EFT’

 

Caring for her paralyzed son taught Sandy Concar how to take care of herself — and other caregivers.

Sandy Concar was used to being in control of her life and her family’s. She found comfort in having a Plan A, B and even C. (Laura got me a book for Mother’s Day, “God Always has a Plan B). When, while raising two teenagers and working 14-hour days as a school bus driver and mail carrier, she needed to move her displaced mother into their home, Concar’s competence kept everyone and everything afloat.

Her kids grew up and forged independent lives. She helped her mom get reestablished in an apartment. Concar and her husband, Ron, empty-nesters at last, were reconnecting after years of responsibility, steering their motorcycle or hiking through the Great Smoky Mountains two hours from their Wake Forest, N.C., home.

“I masterminded my whole life,” Concar says, “until Keith’s accident.”

Her son, Keith, was 27 and on his second Hurricane Katrina volunteer stint, having stashed his belongings in storage and moved to New Orleans. There he spent his days ripping wet drywall and shoveling debris out of ravaged homes, and his nights sleeping on a classroom floor. En route to a job site, he was doing 55 mph on his motorcycle when the Jeep pulled out. Keith’s resulting spinal cord injury returned him to his mother’s care, ultimately leading Concar to what she considers her life’s purpose: supporting those who support others through her mentoring business Care Giver Sanity.

“Is he still alive?”
     This was Concar’s first reaction upon receiving the phone call, followed by, “Everything else, we can take care of.” That she did, shifting into organizational high gear and staying in it for a year and a half, shuttling Keith to doctor’s appointments, researching therapies, addressing financial issues and retrofitting the family home for wheelchair accessibility.

No time to feel
     Concar was looking for answers to heal Keith when an alternative medicine practitioner gently told her, “You need the healing first.” Using EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, Concar tapped specific body acupressure points with her fingertips, causing a “Niagara Falls” of tears as she released pent-up anger and grief. She was, she realized, in control of everybody’s life but her own.

Self-care as a priority
Caregivers aren’t necessarily good at receiving care, even from themselves. For many, Concar says, it traces back to old family rules the likes of “You don’t take the last piece of pie in case someone else wants it.” Healing meant putting herself at the top of her to-do list. Task No. 1: Get out of bed and shower before checking on Keith, which would spiral into task-tending and only getting around to showering at 4 p.m.

Her healing process
     Concar says she was not raised to have a career vision. “By age 25, I’d reached my dream: I had the husband, the two kids, the dog, the house, the picket fence. I said, ‘Now, what do I want to do with the rest of my life?’” Keith’s accident brought the answer. “When I began to heal, I saw so many other caregivers in distress,” she says. “Sure, I wish Keith’s accident hadn’t happened; I would prefer my son to be walking. But it did happen, and there was a reason for it.”

Giving rise to the reason
Two years of practicing self-care after her watershed EFT experience and with Keith settled in San Diego, Concar started CareGiverSanity, at first doing workshops and later adding mentoring: complimentary 30-minute CareGiver Chats via phone or Skype, followed, as desired, by extended one-on-one mentoring and access to a private Facebook support group. Her clients care for aging parents, family members with disabilities, children and other loved ones, and hail from as far away as Canada and France.

Root cause
Hers isn’t an easy sell. “This audience isn’t good at accepting help,” notes Concar. CareGiverSanity’s program only sticks if clients are willing to concede need. Up first is digging into their “stuff,” which, says Concar, they’ve dodged by concentrating on everybody else’s stuff. She guides them in considering such questions as, What is the benefit of doing everything themselves? Things get done right. The downside? They’re exhausted. After the reflection comes the practice.
Baby steps

Advise a caregiver to go for a walk, says Concar, and they’ll reply, “Yeah, right. Find me 10 minutes.” She promotes taking little steps: cooking a nutritious meal one night a week, looking out the window while drinking a cup of coffee, not rushing home from the grocery store. Little by little, such seemingly minor efforts can add up to having more energy, which makes caregiving easier.

“When I awakened to my need to start feeling me,” Concar says, “I realized that Keith’s accident didn’t just happen to Keith; it happened to each of us.” And what happened to Concar — losing control but gaining a calling — now instills hope in caregivers beyond herself.

Read Full Post »

I haven’t really stopped asking the books and the stars! My frequent deliveries from Amazon.com would attest to that. And why NOT ask questions of the stars! My latest understanding is that I am made of the same stuff as they; that I have atoms and molecules as ancient as they are in my body, from that far back in Evolution.

So I have ancient wisdom to gain from them if I put myself and my story of “Destination – Earth” into the whole great big story of the Universe. I have come to love the perspective and miracle of seeing myself in the context of all that has gone before me. And then pondering what has come to me and through me, as gifts and new family members to not only me, but our planet.

So many of the things I am reading are saying things are speeding up in this year of 2012, cumulatively more discoveries in science and medicine and all fields of study are coming at a faster rate, and these new learnings are going to impact the human race in ways unseen before.

Something else we don’t need to increase or come any faster is doing so anyway — and that is the amount of actions, beliefs, and happenings in our everyday life that case —- more STRESS.

Doctors and science have now noted in professional writings that as much as 90% of the reasons people show up in the doctor office can be attributed to a major stress in the person’s life; the illness or pain they are suffering IS one of the stressors but….

Most likely there are others in the background. They all relate to disharmony in the spiritual, physical or emotional life of the person. Some of these stresses seem unavoidable, like accidents and instant change not seen coming. Others are actually quite rooted by our own individual choices and lifestyles — choices we are either willing or unwilling to make toward the positive.

Some people pooh-hooh the abundant self-help books and workshops that are out there that others spend and “invest” a good deal of money attempting to SHIFT from something undesirable in their life to something that resonates with peace and harmony. It is a goal, that if it exists, they feel is worthy putting effort into trying to achieve.

I am one of those people and I have read, read, read…..applied, applied, applied,…..and in instances denied, denied, denied,……and then regrouped, reviewed and released what no longer served me or my happiness.

What I seem to have found in my travels is a common Truth that eventually people you go to to teach you actually tell you that you, yourself, have the Teaching and the Truth within you. The first time that occurs to you, it is quite a “stop-short” moment.

I have even heard a priest say that in church. “You cannot come here to satisfy your relationship with God on one day of the week.” A relationship with God takes practice everyday of the week.  Other human leadership and spiritual masters seem to be going the same way.  We are self-healers and in the correct environment, and unafraid of this innate power within each of us, we have the ultimate stress-busters within ourselves to use at every moment appropriate from innumerable practices and teachings we could follow.

To name just a few I’ve incorporated….Reiki, from the Japanese tradition of spiritual/physical healing…I can treat self and others with the light touch of my hands and my healing intention. Reiki brings balance and healing to body, mind and spirit. It accelerates the body’s natural ability to heal itself. I have gotten increasingly healthy over the past four years according to my private doctor and specialists, and I credit the influence and power of Reiki for this.

In actuality, I have come into great balance and perfection of blood analysis, blood pressure control and general aging developments. I feel invigorated and massively grateful that my earlier health challenges have receded and not impeded the joy of the day.

The results of Reiki cannot be predicted but the presence of its healing power is pretty evident to me. It is the power of Universal Life Force and it acts in support of the body, opening the mind and spirit to release toxins and eliminate disease, disharmony and pain. It works in conjunction with traditional medicines, and for me it has assisted in the disappearance of a brain tumor without surgery, and a very full recovery from cardiac heart disease.  It has helped me release pain and correct problems I have not had to make a doctor call for, but I do that very carefully and when in doubt, will add the doctor visit if necessary.

While I don’t think I actually control disease, illness or pain with the practice of Energy medicines and other stress relief techniques, I do feel I influence the extent to which they cause ravage to me physically and emotionally.

I am also learning Springforest Qigong healing from Korean Master Chunyi Linn. He says we are all natural healers. I believe that now more than I ever have. Besides good nutrition and moderate physical exercise, we can do other practices which, yes, relieve stress, but in reality make real physical changes within us also. Linn says illness in the body is really “misinformation” in the body cells that must be removed.

He has a series of easy movement exercises, based on breath, and moving the “chi” through the body energy systems, combined with simple short meditations. He sees us as one with the Universe and all that is.

I am beginning to learn this and desire to teach it to the elderly to enable them to dissolve some of the natural aches and pains that come about with old age. The elderly are often isolated or without frequent care, so why not give them the knowledge and ability so that they can always call upon their own healing powers.

With dementia on the rise, the need for increased numbers of caregivers arises too. Often, these caregivers come reluctantly but necessarily from within the family, itself, and many are ill-prepared for the strength and emotional stability they will need. Emotional Freedom Tapping (EFT)  is another technique, that I don’t know how, but I do know it works to relieve symptoms, anxiety, and negative self-blame chatter from affecting you deeply within.

If I wanted to say to you, “Let me show you a wild and crazy thing that will take the edge off your headache or make it disappear altogether,” I’d be showing you how to do EFT on yourself.

Heart Coherence is starting to show up in the general media now, but it is already documented by the scientific world, the medical world and the people at the helm the Institute of Heart Math.  Heart Coherence, within yourself, is more than a steady heart beat. It is a pattern of vibrational resonance within yourself and your surrounding environment. It brings about a state of balance and peace within your body and influences the setting you are in (or even sending by intention out into some suffering part of the world).

If you are not the OM sitting type, this is something you can do for yourself in the presence of others without them even knowing you are doing it. You are breathing through your heart and your heart-brain knows it and improves everything  for you having done it!  If you are not the “praying type”, you can start off your day in Hearth Coherence while you brusha-brusha-brusha your teeth, and along with your Wheaties, you are set for one fine day!

All these self-healing methods require that you DO remember to PRACTICE them. But I like the benefits of being proactive with them rather than waiting for the result of an exam when I know I haven’t been regular with good oral hygiene, for example. I may get lucky and skimp by, OR I may be stuck with some oral dentitstry that could have been avoided if I had just stuck with a good routine.

I’m not great on the discipline pattern of life; I do go a lot by intuition and/or making myself do something I know is good for me. And I’m not sure what all the changes are about in 2012 or what the “newness” that is coming will look like. I do think we are in a large pattern of change. Things are not going back to what they were. Our world is on its way to being quite different than we are conceiving it to be.

I think part of that will be an increased willingness and desire to bring more of the Energy Healing and Complimentary health practices into our natural way of life for larger numbers of both the people and the medical profession. And I think the biggest new partnerships are going to rise between the brain and the heart specialities (already there is a new neuroheart speciality) and we will make incredible strides in lessening the amount of heart disease and stroke in the world. I’d like to be here to see the scale tip in that direction.

I can help you start in yourself, anytime you are ready. I am ready.

Read Full Post »

Buzz Lightyear had it right in Toy Story, the original movie. With total enthusiasm for life, he shot forward into any challenge, shouting the phrase that became a catchword, “To Infinity and Beyond”. 

I don’t know if Irish writer and poet, John O’Donohue, would have seen that movie or not, but I had to chuckle when I read the blog of Suzanne Murray, creator, writer, creativity and inspiration coach, and EFT practitioner, and she revealed what she saw on his gravestone.  Check out her work and her writing on www.creativitygoeswild.com.

I have received personal help from her and always await her next blog topic. As well, I have come to love John O’Donohue’s writings and I’m only in his first book, “Anam Cara”. This is the Gaelic word for soul-friend. That is my current aspiration in life. To be among soul friends. Suzanne is one and O’Donohue’s words touch me as soul-friend.

Here are some sharings from www.creativitygoeswild.com

Irish Burren

“On a recent visit to Ireland, I was staying in Doolin, County Clare when I had the inspiration to catch a ride up to Fanore a village in the extraordinary limestone region known as the Burren where Irish poet, philosopher, former priest had been born and raised. John did much to awaken an modern interest in Celtic Spirituality and I was lucky enough to attend a workshop with him on the Celtic Imagination some years before.

I had seen on the website devoted to his work www.johnodonohue.com that John was buried in Creggagh graveyard, about two miles south of the village along the coast road, just beyond O’Donohue’s pub. I got out in front of the pub and walked down the road warmed by the rare February sunshine. Stepping into the graveyard I scanned the headstones and caught sight of a handmade wooden slab at the head of what looked like a small garden.

It was the only site like that in the cemetery and sensed it must be John’s. On the front of the wooden headstone was a small handmade stone cross and a picture frame with a photo of John and an inscription that read:

John O’Donohue 1954 to 2008. . .and beyond.

I burst out laughing because it so much caught the spirit of John and my sense that his big presence lives on still in his work and in the heart of all those who he touched…Others had obviously visited the leaving letters in plastic bags, rosaries and flowers that had been placed amid the bed of living plants including primroses and a small shrub of camillia I left my gratitude for all the ways John has influenced my life and then walked back to village where I was staying across the gray limestone of the Burren that John loved and worked so hard to preserve”.

Wisdom from Suzanne Murray – Writer, Creator, Creativity Coach, EFT Practitioner, InspirationalIrelandTravel Guide

From Suzanne’s blog at www.creativitygoeswild.com

Writing or Creating in the Middle of Things  – April 4

“In order to show up for our creativity or the work of our life I think it helps to lower our standards on what we can accomplish on a daily basis while still keeping our focus on what we ultimately desire or want to achieve. Develop the practice of showing up everyday and taking some action, however small, toward your goal. If you are a writer be happy that you have drafted a poem or a page. You can start by showing up for 15 minutes rather than thinking you have to find two hours of free time before you begin. If you are moving toward a new career or expanding your work be happy that you have made one phone call to connect with someone you might be able to help you. By taking one small step a day you can cover a lot of ground and it has the added advantage of allowing you to sneak in under the radar of the part of you that is resistant to change. Carve moments out of your day for doing what brings you heart and meaning or gives you a sense of momentum.”

Accessing Creative Inspiration  – May 7

“Matthew Fox, the former Catholic Priest who was censured for espousing the doctrine of original sin, has written a beautiful book titled, Creativity: Where the Divine and Human Meet, where he suggests that when we are creative we become co-creators with creation. I clearly remember the first time in my writing when I got on a roll and knew I was writing something good. I paused and looked around the room, wondering “where is this coming from” because I knew it wasn’t coming from “me”. After a while I began to understand that I was tapping into an expanded state that I could access on a regular basis when I stopped thinking and let what wanted to come through me flow into the work.”

Living Your Creative Potential  – September 4th, 2011    

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain
.
What if your life where a blank piece of paper or a bare canvas? What new story would you write for yourself, what picture would you paint? What if each small step you take toward what you really desire is like a brush stroke on the canvas where you are creating that life? What life do you want to create for your self? What creation do you want to live into?”

Embracing Your Inner Weirdo – October 2nd, 2011    

“Normal is not something to aspire to, it’s something to get away from. – Jody Foster

It is never too late to be who you might have been. – George Eliot

Being creative shakes up the norm. It adds spice, color and joy to the world. I’ve come to feel that that is the job of the artist or those who express their creativity in any way. If each of us is going to bring these unique gifts to the world, we have to be willing to be a little weird. We need to accept and embrace the ways we are different even as we know we are part of the whole. We need to claim our own callings that come as the still small voice within us that may suggest a course of action that our mind and the people around us will think is weird but our spirit knows is the right thing to do.

What if a willingness to be seen as little weird is what is required to be on your destined path. What if weird could be the new normal?”

Read Full Post »