Posts Tagged ‘Journal writing’

I’ve chosen a new banner to head up my 2012 Napkinwriter blog. It is the photo of what I call “Phases of Woman” that I have had a copy of since I saw a large print of it on the wall of an Assisted Care Facility back in the late 1980s. I was looking for what might be the eventual place my mother would reside in to take care of her growing loss of cognition needs.

This large print on the wall impacted me deeply when I saw it. The place I saw it was not the place we chose for mom, but somehow I obtained a small print of it and have kept it on my writer table ever since. I bring it into the writing, spirituality and feminine realization workshops I facilitate also.

I believe we have all of these phases of woman in us at all time. The young child has in someway the grown up and the wisdom elder in her before she ever reaches those ages in her real life. The grown up woman reaches for the wisdom of the elder within her during trying times and responsibilities of mid-life. And the lovely elder has the playfulness of the young child ever within her. She also remembers the turning points of changed beliefs and actions of her middle-age self that made all the difference in her own life and how she lives it today.

This is coming up for me again because as I pack, I come across my  Skidmore Writing Journals from my years of attending IWWG’s (International Womens Writer Conferences) in the summers of 1990s into 2001.  Those were years of momentous change for me and some really tough emotional sledding.

Yet, I open these journals, mere spiral notebooks, and bits and pieces of thoughts, “seeds”,  and writing instructions like…..”use an image to….” “write about where you live and who you know”….write about the bag lady at McDonald’s”… pop out at me.

Little unfinished thoughts — “possibilities” — lay scrawled across the page, like a dim light going on within…”You have the power to manifest what you want.” What? I think I am just learning this now, and here is the thought in a 1994 journal.

Another page….the words, “the power of choice” makes all the difference. The lesson of Victor Frankle, who taught us from Auchwitz Nazi camp days that “It’s not what ‘they’ do to you but it’s about what I think about what they do to me.” How many times that lesson has reappeared in my life in different circumstances, different settings through my “grown-up” years into my now here “wisdom years.”

And yes, now, I do claim that lady of wisdom. Once again I lug my heavy journals with me in our move, for I have not yet harvested all the shining wheat they contain that comes from fields in life I have sowed lovingly, tended carefully and repaired from the storms.  I look forward to the harvest!

There are two rather huge things for me these days that I am trying to get my head around and fit into a container of thought. These are: 1) Somehow, we are all one. and 2) Somehow time (past, present and future) are all happening at the same time and I am in the middle of it all, mostly trying to learn my best how to just live in the present. 

I don’t know if I will ever truly understand either of these, but I think they are true. And reading journals just strengthens those beliefs in me, for I know that some of the things I discover I have written on paper in the past, have somehow shaped my future and directed my paths long before I knew the truth of the thought.

I was hoping the woman photo would work as a banner for Napkinwriter, as I will be offering up what is precious to me from these journals in next year’s writings. Actually, I won’t even wait until next year.

The next post will be about what I wrote in 1994 about choices and an 84 year old workshop leader at Skidmore who inspired me. She not only inspired me beyond words, but to find my own words essential stories and get them on the waiting page.

Her name was Dr. Benji Brooks, and she was a pediatric surgeon, who along the way in her medical career probably saved countless lives. She taught workshops so “I could do something of significance in this world before I die” she said one day in class. It struck me as a most humble statement and obviously her choices revolved around the good of humankind.

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Welcome Sophia-Sol

Because I am very, very short on time and very, very, very tired and I am committed to taking care of myself, I am going to go to bed shortly. But not before I introduce you to another one of my muses — a very special one, one you may want to get in contact with too.

I met Janet Conner a little more than a year and one-half ago in an introduction story about her in the front of Daily Word published by Unity. The story was about how traumatic and dangerous events of her life had brought her to writing to God!

That’s right. Writing and writing and writing. Lots of complaints. Lots of rants. Lots of demands. She sat alone on the floor of her home, frightened, not knowing what to do to take care of herself and her son, and she continued to write. Soon enough her writing turned into questions — to no one in particular, but being schooled in “the letters” she knew when she wrote a letter form and began with ….Dear_________, she had to fill in the blank.

So she wrote “Dear God,” and continued opening her journal writings that same way. She filled more than one notebook in short time (she had a lot of complaints!), so she just got another…..and another…….and another.

Then something happened. She began to hear “answers”…..to questions she had posed that day, or the day before or the day before that and she started writing them down in her book too. It became such a regular event that she “heard” someone talking to her while she was busy writing that she eventually had to give this someone some of it’s own space in her book.

She decided that she would write Dear God on the right hand page of her notebook and just to humor herself or “it”, she would leave the left hand page of the notebook for ………….GOD.

The rest of that story is in her published book, “Writing Down Your Soul.” But it is only the beginning of many other stories, which is why I am introducing Janet to you. She is genuine, sweet, honest, unafraid to tell you the most “unbelievable and suspect” things about how we are connected to this Universal Source Being through our hand and pen.

At the time I met her, I was not new to journaling; I was well practiced in that type of writing and many others; I had experienced “automatic writing” in many ways in my professional writing and my personal writing. I taught workshops, “Write Now!”and weekend retreats where women’s writing flowed from their heart, down their arm, through their hand and out their pen, and they stared in amazement at what resulted on their papers.

But I met Janet at a time when old possiblities and desired dreams had not succeeded and I was closed off from them. Outer appearances would say I had lost a lot, financially and personally, and on one level this was true. But here comes Janet into my life at a critical time when I needed to keep on believing in the good, the true and the beautiful. That there was a plan for me and that plan held good and she could help me show me the way if I would let her.

I did. She is a wayshower Muse. I kept it pretty quiet, but I read and studied her book and there were many truths in there I was immediately comfortable with. I signed up for her first “Lilies and the Lotus” class about provision and vision because I definitely needed to keep on believing in provision and abundance, regardless of appearances. Like the lilies, I needed to neither “toil nor spin.”  In her class I created my 2010-2011 Mandela of “Free-Falling into Spirit”.  All of its abundant promises have come true in my life within the last twelve months.

I still write in many different venues, but I do continue my Writing Down Your Soul daily journal. I, too, have a page on the right hand side, and WHO (Whole & Holy One, revealed to me) has the left-hand page.

One of my demands the other day that I wrote down in my journal was that more of the angelic realm get involved with me and I wrote, “including you, Archangel Michael, get down here right now”.  Now I’m not really sure where angels come from but Archangel Michael is very special to Janet, and shortly after I wrote that in my journal, she was heading out to his Shrine in Tarpon Springs, Florida to help her pick the winner of the “Name Her Owl” contest for the Icon that is on the cover of her book and her newly published Writing Down Your Soul Journal pages.

Her Newsletter just released two winner’s names: This is what Janet wrote:

But it wasn’t my choice. It was Michael’s. This is how I give out all the scholarships for my courses. I write the name of everyone who asks for a scholarship on a little slip of paper, bless each one, and take a little bucket of names to St Michael’s Shrine in Tarpon Springs. That’s what I did today.

Before I drew a name, I had a chat on the page with the Voice. I asked, “What are the gifts of the owl?” Here they are:

  • presence–the owl is completely and fully present
  • welcome–the owl always welcomes us with this greeting: “Beloved, I am here for you.”
  • listen–the owl listens with ears we cannot see
  • absorb–the owl takes our story so we can be free of it
  • cleanses and clears–as the owl absorbs our story, a new clean fresh space opens up inside us for something new
  • transmute–the owl transmutes our understanding and our experiences to a new level
  • asks–the owl asks us to remember and see who we truly are
  • respond–the owl always responds, we are never alone
  • lift–the owls lifts us and moves us toward our wholeness
  • sees–the owl sees the way, sees the story, sees the boulders, sees the light within the boulders, the owl sees it all; the owl sees us as the angels see us: whole and holy divine sparks of life

These gifts poured quickly onto the page. As they were ending, a “letter” arrived. I think it’s for you:

“Dear One, dear Beloved Writer,

A name is a fun thing, a place to put your mind for a moment, but my true name is One, is All, is Love Eternal.
I am the eye into the light, a way, a path, a knowing.
I am a symbol of Who you are becoming.

You come to me. You call me and I am here.
Your witness. Your ear. You listen with one ear.
I listen with another. I hear God.

With one eye I see out and with one eye I see in.
Both are necessary.
You are here in this place, this space, this beautiful earth.
You are living your story. You came with a story.
You are walking your story, and you will someday
relinquish this story.

In between, come and share it with me.
I hear you and I hear goodness, I hear beauty, I hear joy.
I see you and I see limitless potential.
I see you as Michael sees you, as Spirit sees you–
so you can recognize yourself,
if will only look through my eyes.

Come see. Come see who you really are.”

Well, by the time that flowed onto the page, I was a little pool of jello. Anything I was worried about before I entered Michael’s was gone, gone, gone, and I was ready to reach in my little metal bucket and pull a name. Yes, the Owl had said his name was One, All, Love Eternal, but I’d promised to pick a name…

But life with Michael is always a hoot. (Pun intended.) I reached in and pulled out TWO strips of paper entwined in each other so tightly, I had to work to separate them.

When I got them open, I laughed. There were two names;

Sophia–the name for the feminine face of divine wisdom and
Sol-Solomon–revered as the wisest man who ever lived.

Our owl has a sense of humor! He/She wants us to know that it is indeed all things, a complete whole, and it really is a vehicle to wisdom.

Several people suggested these names, but the names on the two slips that came out of the bucket are:

Sophia–Susan Heffron Hajec in Michigan
Sol–Karen Loucks inIndiana

From Napkinwriter again:  So Archangel St. Michael, to my way of thinking, has appeared at the side of Susan Heffron Hajec, the Napkinwriter.

To get your own copy of My Soul Pages with Sophia/Sol on the cover, either visit The Store or click here for Amazon. The journal will be in your favorite store any day. Call and ask them to order it for you.

Writing Down Your Soul   is in itsTHIRD PRINTING with a new cover to match the stunning cover of My Soul Pages, the companion journal


Janet has so many things continuing on you may be interested in. Look her up on her website.

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