A Star in my Heart

 

My post today is my most beloved poem of all the poems Joyce Rupp has written. It touches me deeply at the soul level as being the poem of my own birth. Indeed, gathered together am I from history-held mysteries.

These past couple of months, I have been in prayer and healing ministry for so many of my family members and friends suffering from illness and grieving the loss of a loved one — each one “so ordinary, so unique, so simple, so complex”…

Each one given the gift of life and each one exploring the ways to live that as a life of love.

Each of us is surprised into life and each, the blessing of eternity passed on.

I seek out this poem often, to bless myself and the others that I love.

A Star in my Heart is a beautiful read.

 

 

From A Star in my Heart – Joyce Rupp

Revision date: 1/8/2018

gathered together am I
from a history-held mystery,
a bundle of memories am I.

caught from smiles and heartaches
of faces and places past cherished
given in love from the heart of life.

from kisses and love making,
from caring and growing,
from vibrancy and vitality,
the gathered memories
of my own named person
have been gifted into existence.

surprises from seeds and secrets,
gifts from unknown voices and events;
here am I, so ordinary, so unique.
here am I, so simple, so complex
knowing that the seed of my self
has the touch of gathered memories;
gleaned from the ages of another time,
seed and sperm seeking, making known.

a birthed bundle surprised into life,
light filling the center of a new spirit;
the blessing of eternity passed on:
urgency always to seek the face of God,
first gatherer of all good memories.

Joyce Rupp – A Star In My Heart

Lura Media –

 

 

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In Need of a Pilgrimage

“I felt in need of a great pilgrimage
so I sat still for three
days

and God came
to me. “
Kabir

How do I invite Spirit? Are there new ways I’d like to try?

I would like to live in and be aware of my innate holiness,
to rest in this space
of love and wholeness

to feel  gratitude for all I’ve been given
and to deepen my capacity
to hold love and faith.

 

I need to say to Fear, Limitation and Doubt

“IS THAT SO!”

When I recognize them,  I will surround them with my open, loving heart. I will allow them the space to be. And when they wish to leave, “these enemies of ego” as author Joyce Rupp calls them will STOMP ON OUT.

I will release the attitudes I need to release to change the results I am getting.

From:  my personal journal,  “My Life Pages, a companion to The Lotus and the Lily.

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Leaf by Leaf by Leaf

The Holy Disorder of Dancing Monks, of which I am a fortunate and blessed member, asked us recently to reflect upon “letting go”.  This brings me immediately how repetitive an act that is in my life and how each time, though well-practiced, still meets with infinite resistance and a monumental amount of getting in my own way.

It also brings to my mind and heart Joyce Rupp’s exquisite poem on the act of letting go from her book, “A Star In My Heart”, at the top of my list of favorite books.  I see her poem in action during this beautiful fall season and a frequent reminder for me to let go of just one more leaf from my heart which is also in its autumn season.

By Joyce Rupp

Leaf by leaf by leaf
they tumble and fall:
all my haggard hurts.

like a cottonwood tree
ever so slowly letting go,
so the heartache of my heart.

there goes a bit of sadness,
now a leaf of anger flies;
then it’s the dropping of self-pity.

the leaf of unforgiveness
takes forever to fall,
almost as long as non-trusting.

leaf by leaf by leaf
they fall from my heart,
like a tree in its own time.

old wounds don’t heal quickly,
they drop in despairing slowness,
never looking at the clock.

it seems a forever process,
this healing of the hurt,
and I am none too patient.

but a quiet day finally comes
when the old tree with no leaves
is decidedly ready for the new.

and in my waiting heart, the branches with no leaves
have just a hint of green.

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Gathered Memories of My Own Named Person

I have just begun working on my timeline, one of our first assignments in my new E-Course with Christina Baldwin on Restorying Your Life. I think I have a lot of work to do because so far I’ve only made it UP TO the event of my birth on January 2, 1943.  It seems like I’ve reflected upon and traced my timeline back to Infinity, itself. The first four sections of “little Sue’s” timeline are Infinity, Big Bang, Evolution to Homo Sapiens, and Ancestors.  Then my Human Timeline begins as conception in April of 1942.

Talk about “reframing and restorying”. This is going to be exciting.

The major reframe of my story has already emerged (and I have 29 days to go) as: I came from God and Infinity. My birth mother gave me expression as human on Earth, bringing me forth from Infinity and God, where she, herself, returned shortly after my birth. Her expression of this event (being pregnant with me) was given to me by her best friend so many years later. She had told her friend, upon knowing she was pregnant with me, “Now I know the purpose of my life.”

This is not the first time I have worked with this story. My spiritual and writing mentors and guides tell me, and I think correctly, the first story that needs to be written is the mother story. I have many facets of this story down in words, for there are truly many facets and secret silences around my birth and heritage. I am going to welcome the tools I will be given in this course to open up this story more than ever before and let its graces fall upon my life today.

Now I share Joyce Rupp’s poem of birth with you — Every word is a word of truth for me; I have asked permission from her before to reprint her in my work and received a surprising personal note back from her that it is ok to do so for my writing purposes.  And I will share her website with you. I see she has a book, published in 2002 Cosmic Dance, where she knows what I am just discovering, that we are truly made of the stuff of stars, and we date back that far, so I feel very comfortable and confirmed in the timeline for me that appeared on my paper this morning.

http://www.joycerupp.com/

In her book (one of her many, many books), Joyce Rupp, in the tradition of the Wisdom Writers, opens the path to the inward journey to a deep awareness of Sophia, the Spirit of Wisdom.  She is a member of the Servants of Mary, a free-lance writer and retreat director. And a most prolific writer, to which she remains true.

The words in bold text in this poem speak to me and of me deeply; the truth of these words resonates warmly deep, deep in my heart of all knowing; all the words wrap around me and flow through my soul, but the words in bold text are places in the poem to which I will return in silent meditation.

This poem expresses so joyfully for me the true magnificence of the nature of all of our births. This is what I want to remember in my dying hours.

Gathered together am I
from a history-held mystery,
a bundle of memories am I.

Caught from smiles and heartaches
of faces and places past cherished,
given in love from the heart of life.

From kisses and lovemaking,
from caring and growing,
from vibrancy and vitality,
the gathered memories of my own named person
have been gifted into existence.

Surprises from seeds and secrets,
gifts from unknown voices and events;
here am I, so ordinary, so unique.
here am I, so simple, so complex.
knowing that the seed of myself
has the touch of gathered memories;
gleaned from the ages of another time,
seed and sperm seeking, making known.

a birthed bundle surprised into life
light filling the center of a new spirit;
the blessing of eternity passed on:
urgency always to seek the face of God,
first gatherer of all good memories.
(c) Joyce Rupp

 

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Baby, Baby!

January 2 is my birthday, I am 69 years old today. Thank you moms and dad for the gift of life and your love. I have a good life and I am loved. This is the best I could have.

In honor of my own birthday, I am copying a poem from Joyce Rupp’s “The Star in my Heart.” I have a heart connection to Sister Joyce, poet, prolific writer, and religious sister. I used several of her books in the 1990s in my workshops to inspire women to look within and see the star in their own heart. They did. They saw.

At the beginning of her book, Joyce talks about her own journey to Wisdom.

“Once upon a time a child of happiness danced upon the land, knew friendship with the earth, and celebrated life with her love of solitude and simple things…She grew into a young woman, whose vision of self was clouded, clothed with the complexities of insecurity and the necessity of leaving the hallowed womb of the quiet earth. She walked into cities of strangers straining her inner eye to catch the slightest hint of the beauty that had energized her younger days…

…Days stretched into months and then years went by. She slowly changed by going deeper, deeper, into her Center. Never understanding why the desire to go deeper was there but always knowing there was no other choice than to follow at all cost…Darkness often loomed….Risk and Truth became her companions…She met Compassion and then…..

Wisdom came to greet her.

So close, at times were these companions that she wept for their intensity and her unworthiness. Still they walked with her and…

everywhere she went, her companions reached out and blessed the people of her life. She could only kneel in gratitude, offering her heart of praise to the Divine Companion who had faithfully kept the kindling of love burning in her heart”.

My journey has been much like that and I am grateful to Joyce, for much more, but at least for these summarizing words. In my case, the happy childhood was present, but amidst a lot of mystery of my own heritage, my birth mother and my mom who loved and raised me from the age of two on.

I am grateful to have remained true to the call and companionship and rewards of Wisdom residing within me and I know all my steps and searches, whether in the joy of light and discovery or the mystery of darkness and uncertainty, have been blessed by the ever-present God and grace within me.

And so now, I copy a Birth Poem by Joyce Rupp that always makes my heart dance with wonder and delight. And then I’m going to get up and dance.

                    “gathered together am I
                     from a history-held-mystery
                    a bundle of memories am I.

                      caught from smiles and heartaches
                      of faces and places past cherished,
                       given in love from the heart of life.

                        from kisses and lovemaking,
                       from caring and growing,
                      from vibrancy and vitality,
                      the gathered memories
                      of my own named person
                      have been gifted into existence.

                      surprises from seeds and secrets,
                      gifts from unknown voices and events:
                       here am I, so ordinary, so unique.
                       here am I so gifted, so complex.
                       knowing that the seed of my self
                       has touched the gathered memories;
                       gleaned from the ages of another time,
                       seed and sperm seeking, making known.

                      a birthed bundle surprised into life, 
                       light filling the center of a new spirit;
                      the blessing of eternity passed on:
                      urgency always to seek the face of God,
                      first gatherer of all good memories.”

                                         Joyce Rupp
                                          A Star is Born
                                         page 49

Thank you Joyce. This is a beautiful celebration of the Truth and Wonder of my birthday. Now, turn up the music and let’s dance!

 

 

                     

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