Shattered and Lost Lives — Again

My grandmother, Catherine Heffron, was quite afraid of storms. I remember, as a little girl, when the winds would whip up, the skies darken and the lightening begin to spark, she would become very anxious, light a candle if one was available, and sit and rock purposefully in her rocking chair.

The clap of thunder brought out her blue crystal rosary beads from her dress pocket and her mouth began moving, forming the words of the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be, in whisper volume, often punctuated with a frightened gasp and ever-more fervent praying on the beads.

Today, I assume that grandmother probably endured her share of violent, wind-driven storms in the northern woods of her native Wisconsin and really didn’t care for them one bit. Her now aged  body still held the molecules of fear she endured, herself, as a young woman.

Yesterday afternoon, I had just returned from a visit with a friend who wanted to share some dark times and  physical and emotional challenges she is now experiencing. As I came into my house, still somewhat concerned for my friend’s condition, the ominous tornado cloud formations over Oklahoma were being shown live on the television screen.

Before I began to see the devastating results and loss of children’s lives from this horrific storm, I had a telephone conversation with another friend, telling her of the frustration  I’d had earlier in the day with a sewing machine I was only attempting to sew straight lines and zigzags with.

I do not discount my exasperating experience, but it was quickly put into perspective when, after the conversation concluded, the news started pouring in about Moore, Oklahoma and the  annihilation of family lives and property.

As the evening went on, I found myself thinking of the children in the schools and the parents waiting to find their children. It made me think of the Holy Family, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. It also made me think of our guardian angels.

My prayer turned quickly to many conversations and requests of these family’s guardian angels. For the missing children,  if alive, to be given some comfort and protection until found; for the parents, some strength beyond human strength in the waiting hours.

And I burned a candle for everyone.

This morning, I lit my candle as usual, for early morning prayer time. Again, the children came to mind….never, actually, far from it. I picked up my small Benedictine Way of Living Prayer book, and opened to a marker….the marker, I could not see, contained the “Angel of God, my guardian dear” prayer….Ever this day be at my side….  Is that how the angels told me they were there, on the job?

I didn’t have too many prayer words this morning. Just sitting in the silence….attempting to balance both peace and awareness of shattering loss so many people would have to find a way to endure and survive.

My two words in the quiet time were, holy  and help. I didn’t have words for those words, I just kept repeating them.

I think it was about the Truth that families ARE holy, and I was uniting in compassion with the families in Oklahoma….and help……just a primal appeal from my heart.

The page I opened to in the prayer book had these words:

“It is for us to train our hearts to live in grace.”   This reminded me of something a holy man suffering with cancer said: “Pray when you are well, because it is hard as hell to pray when you are sick.”

I am well and I pray for myself, my family and friends and the people of Oklahoma who may or may not find it hard as hell to pray right now.

A Few of My Favorite Things

A few weeks ago, I reported I was on a quest to put some order in my creativity room. I managed to get about two-thirds of the way done, all the while creating more piles of stuff and folders and never ending paper that seems to cover the clean surfaces of my work spaces like fresh snowfall on a December day in Michigan.

So, I will show you just a few things that make me feel “at home” in my space.

This top photo is looking out of my room, as when I leave it on occasion to fix a meal or head to bed or take a walk around the block.

We had a beautiful and lovable cat, Fritzi, who was Laura’s cat and she graced several of our homes for many years, and endured our travels and Laura’s exit to college. So the framed picture behind the door (not too much uncovered wall space in my room) has an elegant black cat (like Fritzi) sitting on a garden path and it is a serene picture for me. My sister-in-law, Donna, made a gift of it to me when she no longer needed it.

I have always shamelessly taped images and words that inspire me on my walls and bookcase and ledge surfaces (all the while, hearing some inner critic voice telling me not to do it.)

This beautiful photo of Laura and newborn Amy is the first image I see upon entering my creative room, and right below it an explanation of The Creative Process from Ideal through Manifestation. These fill me with gratitude.

My own Intention mandala for 2013 hangs above my writing table. My Souljourner at-Large journal awaits the next entry.

I loosened up my overstuffed bookcase, added some greenery to it, organized my spiral notebooks and Yoga Journals, and there is always a stack of paper ready to be written upon.

Some more precious books and spiritual images and mandalas beating their energies into the room. A prayer stick made long ago is the perfect background over all.

What! More book deliveries?

A chair to read, pray, listen within and moodle.  

The guidance of the Holy Spirit.

The years 1999-2000 Millennium Plates given to my by my good friend, Martha and photos of Tom’s mom and dad and my birth mom and dad.

For my little girl, within and without, this special doll graces my room, given to me by my friend, Rosann.  She said it was for “Little Sue.”

This is an image shared between Rosann and me and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

I always like the hymn, “On Eagles Wings” and it is a special bible verse that has calmed me in stormy or fearful times. I thought I would get an artist that would paint me the image of being raised up on eagle wings, flying to the breath of dawn.

And then one day, I took my first watercolor class. The instructor approached the painting time with a meditation first. Then she had us run water color all over our papers to “just see what happens.”

What happened for me was a majestic cosmic colors background of blues, whites, pinks, and purples…..

and in the middle of it, there flew the eagle, with his wide wings spread over the breath of dawn!  This, too, hangs in my room, reminding me to just let God’s grace happen.

I Will Trust to Love

Shattered Mirrors

By Susan Heffron Hajec, inspired from
Mimi Foyle,’s Shattered Mirrors

I will turn to meet my destiny,
reflected in shattered mirrors.
The world breaks
My effort is needed.

I am a humble artist
with prayerful hands
I nourish new life.

In dark corners,
unmolded clay in my hand
in broken places
molding my earthly clod
to reflect what is neglected.

I will trust to love.

Hello Napkinwriter readers. Well just a few moments ago, my blog was shattered…..I typed “glog”. That’s what I feel like now. I had expressed in the first “blank” issue of this, how many ways this workshop experience at WWAM from artist/writer Kittie Bintz had excited me.  Now, I am left looking in a seeminly empty draft land to come up with my version.

Recently on MeetUp, I joined a WordPress group and missed the first meeting. This is one of the first things I want to find out how to avoid or at least be a good enough sleuth to recover it.

This experience was about creating an altar to our muse. Kittie, a soon to be retiring public school art teacher, was a vivacious guiding presence, as we mixed water color, tea lights, collage images,words  and shattered glass to our creations.

The word “retired” didn’t really fit Kittie, so I suggested she was “re-FIRING” instead, and that word stuck, as I heard it repeated among the more than 50 attendees of WWAM Weekend at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs New York.

What a weekend retreat it was. But then again, we creative’s don’t really retreat from life, rather we continue to re-TREAT the world with continuing inspirations, images, ceremony and words.

The inspiration for my creation came from Mimi Foyle’s poem, Shattered Mirrors, which I share here.   I live in the truth that it is indeed prayerful hands and honoring the Mystery that has healed me from my own wounded and light-deprived places in life.

I am in deep gratitude for the great gift of life I enjoy.

Shattered Mirrors
Mimi Foyle

i will turn to meet my destiny,
reflected in shattered mirrors.
heart borken open,
i will pick up the pieces
no matter how sharp
to reflect
what is neglected
in dark corners.
wounded, light-deprived,
with prayerful hands i’ll
recycle devastation to
nourish new life
art, like gardening
is an act of faith and healing,
shining for the world.
as Mystery’s greater
than the sum of all suffering,

I will trust to Love.

Mother Dear, O Pray for Me – Traditional Hymn

Mary, mother of God, thank you for the graces which have poured through you onto our family. I am forever grateful.

“Mother dear, o pray for me! while far from heav’n and thee.
I wander in a fragile bark o’er life’s tempestuous sea,
O Virgin Mother from your throne, So bright in bliss above,
Protect your child and cheer my path
with your sweet smile of love.

Mother dear, remember me, and never cease your care,
Till in heaven eternally,
Your love and bliss I share.”

Amen.

 

 

Blessed Are You Among Women

“Hail Mary, full of Grace
The Lord is with you.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus”

Happy Mother’s Day to my beautiful family of women
who express in the world the highest esteem, respect and
faith in motherhood.

You set the foundation of our country
and give our future hope, otherwise unrealized.

I will call you by name:

Grandmothers:  Katherine Heffron, with whom I shared little girl stories and private sharings of what grandma was like in the “prairie days.” Grandma Tanberg with whom I shared blood heritage, giggles and hugs. Grandma Thompson, only a short stint of summer farm days. (But a secret alcove upstairs in the farmhouse, where I spent many hours alone going through scraps of fabrics and antiques of great-grandma and grandma’s possessions nobody else cared about).

Three beautiful mothers:  Doris Tanberg Heffron, who gave me birth and told her best friend, motherhood was the purpose of her life, which ended here on earth a few days after my birth. She was also mother to my older brother Dave, whom she told my father in the Catholic orphanage that: “this was the baby for us; nobody else would love him like I can.” So Dave got a sister a short year and one-half after he became first sibling in our family; me.

Marion Heffron - the mother I knew and loved from age 2, who created a home for us, being dad, Dave, younger brother John and me.  Mom’s creativity was homemaking par excellence and a soft, caring heart for others. She was in love with her grandchildren and puffed with pride at our daughters’ accomplishments, enjoying many of them before she died of Alzheimers. She loved it when Great-grandson Andrew pushed her wheel chair fast for her trips around the nursing home. She laughed and laughed and probably remembered herself doing what others said she did: “She drove fast!“

Frances Helminski Hajec – I fell in love with my ” newest mom” the first day I met her when Tom brought his “intended” home to his family.  Mom was a gift of Mary to all her future daughters-in-law, who wanted nothing more than each of her sons to be loved and cared for by a good woman. And she DID get her wish 100%.

Daughters: Laura Sue Hajec Mitchell, wife of Carl Mitchell and mother of Amy; Kathleen Marie Hajec Warriner, wife of Gregory Warriner and mother of Devon and Andrew. Two daughters who grace the world with their gifts and talents of giving and focus on motherhood. They and their children make this world better by their being here.

Happy Mothers Day to sisters in-law Joan Heffron, wife of John and Linda Brown Heffron, wife of David who have been with us for many family celebrations and added to our lives with their creativity and generosity and presence.

Sisters in-law:  (Stan’s) Lucy Hajec, mother of Nick, Chris and Katie. We shared many summer vacations with them in Delaware with the young cousins romping about at the shore.

(Joe’s) Susan Hajec, mother and grandmother focused entirely on faith, family and health.  (and swimming!)

(Dave’s) Donna Hajec – Gentle, quiet presence with direction. A guardian angel of a mother to her children.

(Mike’s) Shirley Hajec – Center stage for laughter, fueled by a passion for living in the moment with what life gives you. A heart of deep compassion,  and …… quietness is not her thing!

(Dave’s) Mary Hajec Russell -  Mary, the “apple of her five brothers’ eye”, the baby of the family grew in grace, as the prayer says. Mother to three wonderful boys, grown to fine men. The thing I remember Mary saying the most was “my boys”. That defined her life and now she enjoys those boys and their families,  Jeff, Dan, and Tim.

My nieces and nephews from these families offer evidence that family comes first. As they share snippets of their family joys on Facebook, their aged aunt can enjoy the life-affirming values of love and family along with them. Each one, in their own way, live daily lives of creative energies going out across the land. Just as important is that love is taking root deep within their private lives, thus contributing to a growing goodness within our society.

And that makes for a very happy and joyous Mother’s Day.

Becky’s  and Ean’s children.

Donna and Dave’s son Brian and grandson Logan.

Happy Mother’s Day Brittany, mother to Nora. (lucky Charlie’s beloved wife).

Go Green! Nathan and Kyle, sons of Jeni and Dan Gould. God bless you all.

Mean Machine, son of Kelly Hajec Hanson.

Cookie creator, and mom sports enthusiast, Katie Gould, wife of Jeff.

and dad Jeff, Kalamazoo Marathon runner, cheered on by his children.

Gives new meaning to Go Daddy!

Happy Mother’s Day, Melissa, mother of Mark Hajec’s children, whose life center is “her boys”….ALL three of them!  Mark not shown here.

Happy Mothers Day to Nan, wife of Mike Hajec, and their family.

Jill Hajec Radunzel, sharing with other mothers, and exemplifying a way of life for those waiting the return of their husband in military service to our country.

And Commander Joel, soon returns to heart and home!

Grand niece, Jessica has added to the ever-present excitement in her family with the birth of her son. You can only slightly tell that young grandparents, Nick and Nancy Hajec, are slightly ga-ga over the little guy!

and also celebrating their son Nick’s college graduation from Old Dominion and the start of a new teaching career. Another good teacher added from the ranks of Hajec heritage.

Borrowing from Mary’s wonderful photography  to
add these family pictures.

OH HAPPY DAY.
Thanks for the thrill, honor, treat and blessing to be a mother.

Australian Experience

all photos by Christine Whitelaw

A beautiful shared experience of Australia and yourself by Christine Whitelaw.

dadirridreaming

birds, nature, spirit

Clouds, Sea, Meditation

Filed under: consciousness, meditation, nature, photography — 11 Comments

May 9, 2013

This evening I read post by Annie about peace descending on her when she spent a week in a place by the sea. Our inherent nature is peace, just as it is love, compassion, beauty, generosity, joy and wisdom. Nature shows us all this, if we can take the time to be present, to open our senses and begin to perceive who we really are.

I will be teaching a meditation class with new people next week, so I am thinking about how to explain something so simple yet so profound. Sitting with nature, sharing love, or meditating are excellent ways to discover that we do not end at the visual boundary of our skin.  When we pay attention we discover awareness radiates out endlessly beyond and into the body in every direction; this is a hint about our real nature, we are life, we are It, whatever It is. The mind tries to jump in with its own importance, questions and rationalisations, but if you reassure it that all is well you can slip back into simply being One. So much more peaceful than being two, you and It.

When practising yoga nidra (a powerful tantric form of meditation) we spend time sensing each of the koshas or ‘bodies’, staying as alert and present as we can, even though we are lying down. Buddha said to start with the senses, being mindful of everything that enters our sense doors, so we do. Attention is carefully guided around the body, then into the energy body by following the breath.  Concentration is developed through counting the breaths for while, and when the pranic body is fully awakened we move on with our senses to the emotional body of feelings. Now we notice what is present, or focus our attention on a feelings such as heaviness/ lightness, or happiness/sadness, creating opportunities for healing and harmony to do their work. Similarly yoga nidra takes us to the mind; thoughts and beliefs are all examined as part of this simple but profound meditation. Through all this we learn to ‘pan out’ so that as well as being aware of all we are doing in our mediation we notice that we are awareness itself. Not separate. Joy tingles through every cell of the body, everything smiles, inside and out … mmm yoga nidra is delicious!

Thanks for being patient while I tried out a few thoughts. Usually I have only taught yoga nidra to my yoga students, where most of us already have some common understanding. Of course my first class will be mostly practical, and I have worked out some basics that must be covered. I will let you know how it goes; we are hoping it will turn into a monthly meditation in town after we return from our trip to the Kimberley.

If you are interested to learn more about the simple practice and transformative power of yoga nidra I can recommend recordings by Richard Miller and Kelly Boys titled iRest at Ease. As part of my work I will be recording each session and making it available to students for their home practice … a new skill I am working on!

The ‘Peace of Pie’

This is a guest blog from Suzi Banks Baum, a beautiful and electric woman who presented an art workshop of image, word and techniques that we, students were grateful to absorb.

Suzi gives voice, in so many vibrant and meaningful ways, to mothers in much of her work and play. She also lives this voice within her charming family.

“But what can I do?” we so often ask, feeling helpless in the face of horror,  tragedy  and suffering.  Can we look within and find our own answer to that and break the paralysis gripping us in great numbers?

Yes, we can. Here is a humble and exaulted answer.

http://laundrylinedivine.com/5078/what-is-a-mother-to-do/